| this is dumb |
[Saturday
February 16th, 2008
12:12am] |
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So basically i feel stupid, because i havent used this since my sophomore year of high school. but basically im going to use it to vent. first of all i HATE this semester. i chose these classes because i thought they would be easy. i was wrong. my professor for psychology is CRAZY and expects us to do nothing else but study for her class, i have to read like 4 books for history, rhetoric is just rhetoric and im just bored with it and im sick of going step by step through this stupid research paper, and medical terminology is easy... but luckily its an online class because i never have time to get to it. i feel like im always at work... when im actually not. i feel really trapped because i never have any free time to do anything fun. but for some odd reason, i still like college better than high school so far. spring break is in like 2 weeks... unfortunately im working a lot and i will have plenty of homework to do im sure. sooo in like 2 weeksish it will be march and there will be like ehh a month and a half left of this semester... i hope it goes fast!! especially because after this semester i will never have to take another writing class. the one downfall of living at home and commuting to schools is its really hard to meet people. im only there 2 days a week so anyone that i meet and talk to...i usually either never see again or rarely see. so that sucks... i just want more friends again. my life= 0 fun nowadays... but im beginning to think thats what winter semester is all about because a lot of people are complaining about the same thing.
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[Tuesday
June 28th, 2005
8:25pm] |
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Just letting everyone know that I made a new screen name... ashXbabe24. Right now I have both linked... but its annoying talking on two screen names and I don't have dead AIM anymore... so start talking to me on my new one.
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[Sunday
June 12th, 2005
12:21pm] |
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I have a MySpace now... so add me
www.myspace.com/blueandyellow88
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| You mean too much to me |
[Tuesday
May 31st, 2005
5:10pm] |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Stories- Trapt |
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Once again I feel like I'm loosing a major part of my life. A similar feeling I've felt all year. I've watched him go back and forth between other girls and I always wondered why. At one point we were best friends... and we have just been friends for a long time. I don't want to end that now. I've also always thought of him as more of a friend. But now I'm confused because of other feelings I also have and I don't know what I want right now. I guess whats really bugging me right now is the way our conversation ended earlier... "have a nice life... see ya." I guess pretty much it's over... just like that. I thought he understood that I didn't want a relationship right now and that we were just going to be friends for a little while. I know I have made so many mistakes lately and I've done so many things that I've regretted big time. And I know what I continue to do isn't making anything any better. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I hate the situation that I'm in right now. I'm sick of hurting people and I'm sick of hurting myself. I feel like I keep repeating myself everytime I talk about this... pretty much because I am. I don't know what else to do or say. I know that this journal entry probably won't do anything because the person probably wont even read it. You know how I feel. I don't want to loose you. You have been a huge part of my life for such a long time.... it's crazy to think of my life without you in it. Even if things dont work out now... theres always later on in life. Everything happens for a reason... and you never know what may happen in the future.
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| I'm sorry for everything.... |
[Tuesday
May 10th, 2005
3:57pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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music |
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Cold- Crossfade |
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I love how yesterday I told everyone what I thought... and just straight out told them like it is. It was actually a big thing for me because I'm not like that at all. Mood swings are interesting too. But I think I'm getting back to the way I used to be... nice, sweet Ashley. I've improved, I don't yell while driving anymore. I just had to realease some road rage that I had been holding in for a year when I had a permit and had to drive with my parents. Now everyone just says I am fun to drive with. Drama is another thing I hate. Theres really no need for it.... Come on people we arent in elementary school anymore. But I guess its just all part of being a girl......
Comments are nice... so leave one
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[Monday
May 9th, 2005
7:03pm] |
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I'm trying hard to be understanding.... but its getting harder and harder each day. I haven't hung out with him since Thursday... and I haven't even gotten a call just to talk. Things just aren't the same that they used to be. If something doesn't change, I can see something bad happening here....
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[Sunday
May 8th, 2005
11:15am] |
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It was still a fun weekend... even though I didn't get to see David. Maybe today... hopefully. I saw him for like 20 minutes yesterday... I knew that he really wanted to hang out with me.. but he couldn't leave Gene's until he got a hold of his mom... and she wasn't answering her phone. Pretty much I went over to Danielles with some people Friday night... Amanda's party last night... and came home today. I can't wait for summer.....
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| Cheating....?? SAY WHAT!? |
[Tuesday
May 3rd, 2005
3:01pm] |
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mood |
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 hurt |
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music |
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You'll Think of Me- Keith Urban |
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Wow... this week hasnt gotten off to the best start. Everything was going great until I got into lunch yesterday and immediately Derek and Beau called me over to talk to them... apparently everyone jumped to conclusions and thought that I cheated on David with Ryan. NOPE... sorry... I didn't do that. David knew we were together because we were all supposed to meet up at Jason's house.... David was the one who called and said we couldn't come over because the cops were at Jason's house for some reason. We had about an hour until we were going to pick up Danielle... so we went to DQ and Target..... ok you guys get it... NOTHING HAPPENED! The one time that I tell the whole truth... no one believes me.... It sorta hurts when you know your relationship could end at any minute and no one believes you... yet your about to cry. But the one thing that really gets me is... he talks to Ryan about this instead of me. There is no way that this situation will get any better unless we talk about it. I talked to him about it last night... he said that he knows I wouldn't do that and he believed me. I talk to Ryan at the end of the day and hear the total opposite. Apparently there are some trust issues that need to be talked about here. I can tell something is wrong... I don't know if I am necessarily part of it or whatever.... but David just doesn't seem the same as he did last week. I really do like him... a lot... I wouldn't want to risk our relationship by doing something dumb. I know some of you may not want to believe me because of the dumb mistake I made last year. He forgave me.... I felt terrible.... but we got over it and moved on. I learned my lesson from that incident right there. Ask any of my friends... if someone mentions him I get a big smile... or when I know that I get to see him.... I get really excited. His phone was messed up last weekend, and when he finally called me back I screamed, I was so excited. I love David.... I couldn't bring myself to doing that to him.
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[Sunday
May 1st, 2005
2:10pm] |
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This weekend wasnt as fun as the last couple weekends... but overall it was still good. Friday was tryouts... they went awesome! I made varsity! I got up to the school a half hour early to warm up everything and realized i forgot my sign... so i got back home and i got back up there and i still had at least 10 minutes until my tryout time... well they were running early and it was my turn to go... so i was feeling rushed and extremely nervous. My splits went all the way down which totally suprised me. I havent been able to do that since last year before i pulled my hamstrings.... After that i went and picked up Danielle because i was so stressed and scared and I just had to get out of the house... so we drove around trying to find somewhere to go... man we went from Walled Lake to West Bloomfield to Commerce... and like drove all over the place... we finally ended up at Ryan Alderton's house, but couldnt stay long because he was supposed to be grounded but went on a "walk" so that he could meet up with us. But his grandma came looking for him... so we left. Yesterday I had to go to the bank to cash my check, and i for sure had to get gas. So i did that and I picked up Danielle and we went to get job applications at Micheal's. Aric called us also so we went to his house and I drove him to get his hair cut... never ever will I do that again. I forgot how embarrassing he is to take out in public. We left him because that was taking forever and we went and did other things and went back to pick him up. After all of that we met Ryan up at Central to pick him up from the track meet... and we all went to the mall.... David was supposed to meet us up there but he didn't. I found out that his phone is messed up and keeps turning off on its own.... thats why its been going straight to voicemail and he hasnt been answering. The mall was pretty dumb if you ask me.... the only good thing that happened was I bought a new bathing suit. I was so tired when I came home... and I wasnt in a good mood. I tried to take a nap but that didnt work... so I went to get Taco Bell because the rest of my family ate out before I got home... after that I called David to see what they were doing so they told me to meet them at Jason's. We really didn't do anything... they couldn't figure out what to do... so we watched Billy Madison... and I drove James and David home later.
( My Bathing Suit )
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[Thursday
April 28th, 2005
9:52pm] |
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( See my comment statistics )
Life is so great right now. I'm loving the license. And I love David. He's so adorable!
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| Gettin' my license on 4/20 |
[Wednesday
April 20th, 2005
10:52am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Wonderwall- Oasis |
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I'm excited in a couple of hours after my brother gets home, I'm going to the Secretary of State to get my license. Everyone was like so excited today it was crazy. Ever since last night I've been walking around with my car keys because I'm a dork. I even took them to school with me today. Danielle suprised me with some balloons today... they were really cute... her, her mom and her brother wrote on them for me. I love the Miller family. These were cute so i had to share. Happy 4/20 everyone!
( Caution: Newly Licensed Driver )
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[Tuesday
April 19th, 2005
7:20pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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Smells Like Teen Spirit. |
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I passed my Road Test today. I wasn't very nervous. I did awesome too. Only got one point taken off for parking (parallel). And barely had any points taken off for driving. I was in my car... and I had this feeling as I was driving up there, that I was going to pass. Luckily tomorrow is a half day so I can get my license as soon as possible. The thing that sucks is... I have to wait from my brother to get home from school... so I should have it sometime between 1 and 2 tomorrow. So call me! I'm still trying to decide where the first place I drive to should be. Any ideas?
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[Monday
April 18th, 2005
5:19pm] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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music |
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Hotel California - The Eagles |
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So anyways Wednesday is 4/20... I'm gonna celebrate by listening to Bob Marley. Yup cuz I'm not as cool as some people. I have way too many tests tomorrow. Spanish test, Math test, and Road test. Actually thats only 3 but still. Yup finally taking the road test tomorrow at 5. I'm actually excited. Crap that means I have to clean my car tonight.... its getting kinda dusty lol. So theres a possibility I could be getting my license on 4/20. Cuz I'm just so cool like that. Not like any of you really care because some of you already have your license. But you didn't get yours on 4/20... so nope I'm still cooler. So anyways... I have stuff to do... like math homework.
So...
Peace... and we out...
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| Happy Birthday Ryan! |
[Saturday
April 16th, 2005
12:27pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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Smells like Teen Spirit- Nirvana |
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I had this really long entry pretty much all typed up last night and my stupid computer restarts on me. I was so mad. Yumm Mongolian BBQ is so good. I had never been there before... but I love it. I had never used chop sticks before but they are fun. It took me a little while to get the hang of it... but I did it. I actually got fuller faster and I didn't even finish my whole plate... and that's sad because we had all you can eat. Taylor took so many pictures because that was her present to Ryan... I thought it was a cute idea. She printed them off in the car and put them in a picture frame. After we went to Circuit City and just drove around before going back to Ryan's house. His grandma I think, made an awesome cake. We left around 11 because Megan had to be home at 11.. but after Jason, David and me went and played on the playground at Mary Helen Guest, because we are cool... and none of us wanted to go home. I finally came home around 12.
Before all of this yesterday, I came home and needed to cash my checks so that I would have money for Ryan's present. I was told to buy him something dumb and he will love it. That's exactly what I did. I felt so cool buying Ryan 2 cap guns and some caps. Jason and Ryan had so much fun with those on the way home. They were shooting them out the window and in the car. They smell so bad. I felt like I was in the ghetto... we were listening to the Ludacris cd... with the bass like all the way up. Anyways Gene was the one who picked me up to go get the present... and on the way home we had fun because we got stuck in traffic, and David bought some handcuffs... I tried so hard to get stuck in them, but it didn't work. But I do have an injury from them. Me and David used them last night to play volleyball because everyone thought it would be funny. Don't handcuff yourself to a person 10 inches taller than you and jump for a ball. Not a smart idea. It ripped off some of my skin, and it stung so badly. We were supposed to go out on Jason's boat last night. But I think the boat party is tonight... I'm not sure though. I'm waiting for David to call me on it. But Danielle, I promise we are hanging out this weekend.
Yesterday was so crazy and hectic because I also wasted an hour at least driving out to 12 mile and Evergreen to take my dad to a doctors office... that wasn't open. I was mad because I already didn't have a lot of time to get ready. Yesterday was fun though. This morning i had a dentist appointment. I've been having some pain because of my wisdom teeth. They took a panorex (x ray of your whole entire mouth) and that was definatley the problem. I don't have enough room... so they are growing in sideways like most people's do. OUCH! They hurt. So either this summer, or before depending on if I continue to have more problems with them, I have to get them taken out. Some people are lucky and get to get them pulled... but I think I'm going to have to get mine cut out. I don't know if they will grow in or not before then, so it will depend on that. Time to look like a chipmunk! The only cool thing is, if I get it done while I'm in school still, I get a 4 day weekend. I don't have to work today... so call meeeeeeeee.
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[Sunday
April 10th, 2005
8:56pm] |
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| You Shook Me All Night Long |
[Sunday
April 10th, 2005
6:27pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Shook Me All Night Long- Ac Dc |
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Lets recap my weekend... just because it would be fun. Ehhh... Friday started off pretty sucky. My dad was and still is in the hospital so I had to watch my brother while my mom went to visit. David kept calling me to hang out but I couldn't and I was pretty upset. They finally called me again around 10 to hang out and my mom was home by then so Gene came and picked me up. We went to the bowling alley... for an hour. I watched Taylor, Jason, Ryan, and Megan bowl and watched Gene, Beau, James, and Derek play pool. Hahah i attempted to bowl for Meagan while she went to the bathroom but i definatley got two gutter balls. It was sorta pointless seeing that we all had to be home by 11 but oh well it got me out of the house. Jimmy also met us up there. I havent seen him since like 8th grade. Those were some good times at David's house. Yesterday I had to work. Sorta pointless too. Only had one girl for the 12-1 class, and no one showed up for the 1-2:30 class. So i came home early. I called David and Danielle but David had to call me back later and Danielle didnt answer. I finally called David back around 7 and David and Gene came and picked me up and we went over to Jason's house. I CAN PICK UP RYAN ALDERTON! The kid weighs 245ish and I'm 140. Hahaha i feel so accomplished because of that. And yeah... I don't care if you guys know what i weigh... whoo hoo. We watched Saw... I wasn't very impressed... It was a good movie, but I guess it just wasnt what I was expecting. Ewww I didn't watch the girl pull the key out of the guy because I hate blood. The noises grossed me out... and i didnt watch it. I was literally buried in David's side with my hoodie over me. The same thing when he sawed off his foot. We also had a bonfire... it was nice. Minus the drama. But hey i still had fun so I can't complain. Ryan is crazy... but it was funny. After all that stuff we left Jason's close to 11:45. Then we went through the Taco Bell and Wendy's drive-thru. Wow Taco Bell had a long line... and there was a guy there named Mandy... and he sounded like a girl. I had my head like buried in the seat trying not to laugh but it didnt work. I couldn't help it. I know its really mean, and I'm normally not like that. They finally dropped me off at about 12. I was supposed to be home at 11. hah. My mom didn't care because i called her. I went to bed around 4 and woke up at 10. I went to the mall today from like 12ish to 5. I met Jason and Matt... both are Danielle's friends. I smacked Jason because he made me mad.... i left a hand print on the side of his face. Matt I just think I made uncomfortable because he kept leaving and walking away. It was funny. I bought an Ac Dc shirt... its hott. I missed my The Used shirt... so I felt the need to buy another band shirt. I was looking at The Used ones, but they didnt have any i liked... so i figured this one would work fine. I also bought some Sugar sandals.... omg they are so comfortable... like whoa. i love them so much they are so cute. Anyways Danielle just gave me some pictures today from after Western's homecoming, Devil's Night, and Halloween. I know that was like 3 years ago... but still i feel the need to share.
( From like Octoberish )
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| Vote! |
[Monday
April 4th, 2005
3:54pm] |
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mood |
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 feelin' a little better |
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music |
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Me trying to breathe |
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I'm leaning towards keeping them, but im not sure if i want to keep them shorter like i have now, or do a little bit longer side bangs. I like my bangs, i think they are cute. Last year... and first i wasn't sure if i was going to like them or not, but they definately grew on me. but last night i pulled back my bangs because they annoyed me and im like i dont look bad without them either. so now im not sure what im going to do. So i figured i would get some input from you guys.
( With?.... or Without? )
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| Yesterday |
[Sunday
April 3rd, 2005
9:08pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Desperate Housewives? |
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First of all... yesterday was my Mom's Birthday... so happy birthday to her.
Work- I woke up and got all ready... left and got there like 5 minutes before one. No one was there for my class, and normally there are a couple people there before me. Well Rachel shows up, and im like wow for once shes early! so her dad said that if no one showed up that they were just going to leave... so i gave them the choice because i was willing to stay. After about 20 minutes, no one came so they left... and i waited around for another 10-20 minutes on my dad to come pick me up, and still no one came. so pretty much that was a waste of my time, but oh well what are you going to do.
After that i came home... and i knew David didn't get off work until like 2. So i called him around 2:30 to let him know that he could come over whenever he wanted. So he came over and we played some air hockey, which he finally beat me at.... i had the slowest reflexes yesterday... it was funny. i made him feel bad just because i felt like being mean, and then i felt bad after. but its ok now. Then we played some Need for Speed Underground 2.... which he beat me at too!!! thats not right because i beat him at both of those the other night! i felt retarded because of that... oh well. We also played NBA street... he beat me at that too... but i cant beat him at that one. He knows how to use Shaq to his advantage. But the game was close, 18-22.
Danielle called me around 5:30 or 6 ish??? i dont know, i dont remember. she wanted to come over... so she came over and she played Need for Speed... James called David and he came over too. So while she was doing that, me and David had a rematch at airhockey. but he cheated and had james play me when i either tied the score or got one ahead of him. oh well what are you going to do? definately next time! My parents left to go pick up a pizza and rent some movies, so i attempted to play a game of pool. I've never played before in my life, but we just got this table like a week ago so i figured what the heck, why not. So i made David let me have a turn... and wow i suck. i dont think i was holding the stick right, and the ball should have went in the hole! i hit it, it just stopped rolling! There was nothing really out as far as movies, so i made my mom rent Anchorman again... and we all watched that. Everyone left between 11:30 and 12. I realized that i was with David from like 3-11:30... thats a really long time... but i love the kid so i dont care.
As we all know, the Pope died yesterday. I'm not trying to like make anyone believe anything im about to say. A person my mom works with said that in the Book of Revalation it says that he is supposed to be our last living Pope and 15 days after he dies it is supposed to be the beginning of the end of the world. That kind of freaked me out, but the catholic church already has 3 people lined up to be the next Pope... so im not totally sure/ understanding. I made my mom give me the Bible... and i was reading it.... im not totally done searching through the book of Revalation.... but i hope to find what they are talking about... so i have proof for myself. I'm not saying i dont believe, because i do. I just want to know for myself, just to know that someone didnt make that up. ... not saying they did.
ehhhhhh I'm not feeling too great. I thought i may be allergic to cats... which im still thinking i am. But im not too sure now. I started to get a sore throat the other night at Danielles house but i didnt really think anything of it. I woke up yesterday and it hurt so badly and after a while it began to itch, and deep back in my ear itched too. Then after i came back from driving around earlier, i got out of the car and it hurt to move. My whole body is sore! and all i did was drive a car! My head hurts and has a lot of pressure right now... it feels like its about to explode! so i dont know what to think. I'm just excited we dont have school tomorrow.
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blueandyellow88's journal
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